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First Father's Day after...
                              by pamela spurling

Father's Day came and went... though the thought of it lingers in my mind.  It was the first Father's day without both my father and my father in law.  Actually, that Sunday wasn't a sad day... but the next day was... isn't that strange?  I pondered that they were both gone and we hadn't talked with or spent the afternoon with them... that's when the realization was most intense.

I imagine I am writing today to a woman who no longer has a living father or daddy.  Maybe to a woman who never had a dad at all. There is a strangeness in all of this... and sort of an empty place in the heart that only a dad can fill.  I can be all grown up and do all kinds of things on my own and yet I'll always be my daddy's little girl.  In addition to this, I also had a wonderful father in law who was such an important figure in my life... both as a father and as a minister of the gospel.  Since I was so young when my husband and I married, and since I was not yet in touch with my own father at that time, I kind of felt like my father in law was my own.  Then along with my father in law, I have my precious husband... I sort of grew up with them and have been so blessed by them and because of them, I've learned how to do many things.

One man in particular has taught me a lot about fathers.  He has modeled for me the sincere love of a father's heart.  He has taught me about the greatest love and Father of all.  His persistence ensured that I came toknow my Heavenly Father, for this is the man the LORD used to draw me to Himself and it is in watching the daily life of this man that I have been learning the disciplines of a obedient walk.  I have seen his mistakes and shortcomings, I have seen his successes and his failures.  He has encouraged me by example to study the Word daily, and has helped me to have plenty of reading and study materials to strengthen me in my Christian walk.  It is this man who has demonstrated what it means to do what is right, to correct wrongs I have committed, to be sensitive to others, though in my zeal, I fail many times. He has many times over the years had to say difficult things to me to help me see where I have been wrong and then has knelt or stood with me as I have repented before the LORD and to those I have offended.  I have been blessed to watch him live out what he teaches, and to witness the same in his dealings with his own children. Because of his standards and decisions, I have learned a lot about living with and loving a good father---something I didn't witness as a youngster.  I have learned about dedication and sacrifice for family.  I have seen loyalty and patience.  I have seen him readily admit when he is wrong or has made a foolish decision. I've watched him drop everything in order to listen to a child or to give one more hug and kiss, goodbye. He has demonstrated a selfless attitude whenever I have needed anything and has continually attempted to meet my needs---and hopes.  I am humbled by this love and care... There is a song he knows I have sung to him in my heart... sung with thanks to the LORD...

"...Did you ever know that you're my hero, and everything I'd like to be...
I could fly higher than an eagle, 'cause you are the wind beneath my wings
It might have appeared to go unnoticed, but I've got it all here in my heart
I want you to know I know the truth, I would be nothing without you..."

This man who has taught me so much about what it means to be a father is so much a father to me. Yes...he does frequently run out of day before he runs out of work... he works hard and gets tired.  For recreation he spends time in the Word and in prayer early every morning... and takes a jog in to get a donut and coffee. We all chuckle at funny things he does.  And we all rejoice at what the LORD has done for us in him... I know that this man wouldn't be the right fit to someone else, and maybe others don't see what I see, but I am so thankful for this man... this father...who is not my father at all, he is my love, he is the one for whom the LORD has chosen me to be his wife... he is my husband.

When our daughter sang played the song "Wind beneath my Wings" for him on Father's Day, I hoped he knew she also was singing in thanksgiving to him.

Our little three year old sang to her daddy the cuppy-cake song... I will
try to locate the url web address for you to listen to the original...
The words are sweet and sung by a three year old made the song pretty

You're my honeybunch, sugarplum, pumpy-umpy-umpkin
You're my sweetie-pie...
You're my cuppy-cake, gumdrop, snookums-boogums-you're---
The apple of my-eye........

Yes, it was sweet.

Have you been taking care of your husband in the way that you ought?  I mean really caring for *him*?  If this is difficult for you, then I pray right
now that as you read this and if you are undergoing hardship in marriage
that you will have a renewed sense of dedication to being that godly wife
whose conversation and behavior is obedient first to the LORD and is
demonstrated outwardly to your husband.  I pray for a transformation and a renewal in your marriage that you would experience the joy the LORD intended for married couples and for peace and patience in your heart. We all need the wisdom of the LORD as we seek to love our husbands in the way that we ought and in the specific way he needs to be loved and appreciated.  Pray, study and learn what those specific things are and then purpose to apply what you learn...

pamela spurling 2001

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