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Do or Dwell
Sandy Willoughby
When
the heart is heavy, and we suffer from depression or
disappointment, how thankful we should be that we
still have work and prayer left to comfort us.
Occupations forcibly diverts the mind; prayer
sweetly soothes the soul.
"Then," writes one who had been sorely tried, "I
tell my grief's to God, as a child tells its
troubles to its mother; and when I have told all I
am comforted, and repeat with a lightened heart the
prayer of S. Francoise de Chantal (who certain
suffered more than I), 'Thy will be done for ever
and ever, O LORD, without if or but,' . . . and
then, for fear a murmur may arise in my heart, I
return immediately to my work, and become absorbed
in occupation. Gold Dust (1880)
Dear Sisters,
I am not depressed this morning and my heart isn't
heavy. The disappointment I was feeling in my
attitude and behavior has been washed away by God's
grace and I am filled with hope for the beauty I'll
find in today. My attitude still isn't what it
should be but I know that I don't have to work on it
by my own strength! I can keep handing it over to
God and let Him battle it out and win:)
Yesterday, I hit a point around evening time where I
was angry, bitter, and frustrated. It all came
pouring out when dinner time came and I wasn't
prepared for it. I had the meat thawed in the
fridge, some bread out to butter, and many available
canned or frozen vegetables on hand for side dishes
but the sink was filled up with stove top burners,
knobs, and other pieces. The oven would have to be
cleaned from a grease spill (necessitating the
soaking of the burner grates and all the rest)
before it could be used.
I was unloading the dishwasher, broke a plate, and
just turned into a complaining and mean woman!
My attitude was blamed on my broken washer and the
fact that I was on week number 7 without one. I
griped against the appliance company, their horrid
service, and "lies" of mailed parts and so on. I
raised my voice to the very air around me about how
fed up I am with walking through a path and to our
in laws every time I had to do a load of laundry...
how I couldn't keep up with cooking, the kitchen,
the house, or anything else when I couldn't keep up
with the laundry itself. By the time I
stopped my "fit" ... I had gone on about not knowing
how to cook cube steaks for a recipe on the menu,
hating dirty and sticky floors ..."with a passion"
... and more.
I was breathing hard and not wanting to stop... not
having one speck of desire to calm my emotions...
and really just getting lost in my anger and hoping
to stay there.
Over the years, our Holy Spirit has taught me that I
will never have control over myself and that I must
relinquish any control I might feel over to the
Lord... especially when my very spirit knows that I
am wrong and sinning. My anger and frustration
wasn't a sin in themselves... but how I handled them
was.
"I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then
with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but
with the flesh the law of sin." Romans 7:25
I sat down here and just thought a prayer for God to
help me and to stop the raging waves of self pity
and self absorption and decided to share what I was
feeling with you:)
"Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation:
the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is
weak." Matthew 26:41
The LORD opened up a book before me by guiding my
hands to its worn little cover and what I read is
what I shared at the top of this letter. His peace
and His love and His never failing mercy met me and
embraced me and guess what? All the negative fell
down and disappeared to make room for His strength.
"Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved,
let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the
flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of
God." 2 Corinthians 7:1
Had the Lord not touched upon my life... my heart...
when I reached out for Him... I would have taken my
anger to a stronger level. I probably would have
yelled and screamed through the house, been a wretch
to my husband and children, and more.
It is always horrible when I function from myself
and nothing good comes from it. Every single time I
lay my heart, soul, spirit, and all down at the Feet
of Christ Jesus... HE lifts me up and lifts me out
of whatever muddy hole I've dug for myself.
Why don't I always turn to Him? Why is it that so
many times I neglect to call out to Him when I need
Him to overcome me? It is the stubborn flesh and it
would be frightening if I didn't have His Word that
He has already overcome my worldly side and His
light shines through so that I can choose the
spiritual side of living ... with His help:)
"It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh
profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you,
they are spirit, and they are life." John 6:63
I'm still finding that mad and mean attitude lurking
around every corner but God is equipping me with
what I need to deal with it.
Romans 8:5: "For they that are after the flesh do
mind the things of the flesh; but they that are
after the Spirit the things of the Spirit."
I have always wondered why there is such a load of
things to do and such work to accomplish during
times when we are dealing with frustrations or
sorrows. Now, I see that God allows so much to do to
keep us busy enough that our mind doesn't dwell on
the problems before us. He knows us so well, doesn't
He? He sees ---even when I sure don't --- that I
need to be fruitful in my work and activity to keep
my mind busy in Him instead of in whatever I'm
dealing with. Is it the same with you? When burdens
of various sorts hang over your day and the things
on your to do list pile up before your eyes... do
you think all you must do helps steer you from all
you must endure?
Precious reader, if your heart is heavy with
depression and disappointment... I urge you to find
solace in the arms of Christ Jesus. He is in the
Word and His all pours from that Word into your
heart. If you are tired, tried, angry,
frustrated --any or all of those --- turn your focus
to Jesus. Let the Lord light up your life like
nothing else can.
Call on Jesus...
He is your savior in and over everything and He will
rescue you... even from yourself sometimes:)
Love,
Sandy
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