Where to Start When You Don't Know Where to Start
pamela spurling
Dear Sister in Christ,
You know, I have many letters from discouraged sisters.
Maybe you are one of the sisters who is feeling low at
this time. Perhaps you are struggling with a trial
that’s become overwhelming to you —perhaps you’ve even
lost hope. Well, I encourage you to not despair and to
not give up. What I want to share today is prompted by
letter of reply I wrote to a sister who was totally
overwhelmed by her situation and had (what I call) lost
her house. By this I mean that her home was in such a
state that she no longer felt she’d ever get a handle on
it and would never come out from what seemed to her an
avalanche. Maybe you’ve been at just such a place in
your life and you can relate to this sisters’ dilemma.
So, then, today I’d like to offer help and share:
“Where to Start When You
Don’t Know Where to Start.”
If your life seems chaotic and you no longer have any
idea how to get a handle on your life or your home, I’d
like to offer some encouragement and practical
suggestions about where to start when you don’t know
where to start. I understand and I hope to be of help
to you. First, go before the LORD. Honesty is the best
policy here: admit you’ve let things go; seek help for
correction; make the corrections; and go on. Go on with
a new resolve to maintain order---everyone has to start
somewhere. All of this may take a bit of time depending
on your situation. [Remember these ideas are for
someone who’s really lost the house.]
You can begin with a very simple *daily* task: Every
day when you get up, do this FIRST... get up and make
your bed and basically tidy your room and spend time in
the Word and on your knees. Try to do this everyday for
several days — it will become a very natural habit.
Even if you start with a few minutes at first… after
you begin, you’ll long for that time.
THEN — Get the children up and teach the children to do
the same as you’ve begun doing. Try doing this everyday
for several days. Accept all attempts at compliance
cheerfully! Remember… you didn’t get into the “mess”
overnight and you won’t get out of it overnight.
If you’ve “lost the house” — meaning: IF the home is
*totally* out of order, then DO this: Even as you’re
establishing your initial morning habits, go in and
prepare some or all of your dinner for that night. Make
a salad, a Jell-O/fruit salad and put them in the
fridge, put some meat and veggies and broth in a crock
pot to simmer all day and forget about dinner. This
will enable you to concentrate on tackling your job.
Today’s the day you must tackle the job. A clutter
house is a cluttered schedule is a cluttered mind is a
depressed mother. Really. You can and must get over
this mountain and you are not alone. I pray as I write
this that every reader will be blessed and enabled to do
what must be done and, the LORD being your helper, you
will get this done.
You can make this an adventure. It really can work and
it really will work if you want it to! Let your family
know what you intend to do and what you intend to
maintain. As cheerfully as you can do it, let them know
that everyone is going to need to play a part in the
program.
Get dressed, shoes on! Put up your hair and put on an
apron. Mobilize your troops. Now, give every person a
box or laundry basket and have them go all over the home
with their box and pick up every single thing that is
theirs and put it in the box and take the box to their
room. WORK TOGETHER. Pick up every piece of laundry in
the house and put it in a barrel. If you have a big
family, a literal barrel with wheels is great for the
laundry — whatever you have is best for now. Fill the
hamper with every single piece of dirty laundry.
Pick up every thing that rightfully belongs in the
kitchen---load the dishwasher and run it (you may need
to come back and unload and reload and rerun the
dishwasher). Put every thing away in the kitchen. Wipe
the counters. You don’t have time for a “deep
clean” right now, “cleaned up” will do! Leave that room
so that you don't hang out and snack and visit. You
do not need a snack yet. Your dinner is already being
taken care of, so you needn't spend time there.
Now then, run a load of laundry! Then go pick up every
single newspaper, newsletter, magazine, paper, etc and
put them in the recycle bin or the box for "papers to go
through" on your desk. Then, cheerfully set up a trash
barrel in your hallway and by your back door and throw
away every single item that ought to be tossed. Then,
cheerfully go into every room and put things in piles...
a pile of books, a pile of clothes, a pile of toys, a
pile of papers, a pile of shoes, etc.
All of this may have taken a day or two… maybe even
more. Try to stay with it no matter what. You may need
to repeat all these things again and again depending on
how much there is to do to get your home in order! Do
much of your dinner preparation each morning so you
won’t be derailed from your tasks. Don’t take breaks
and don’t snack. You will be fine. As you work along,
learn to establish a routine... and every day go around
your home and pick up every single thing that is out of
place and put it in a box — learn to get that box
emptied right away into each proper place.
Gather everyone together and again explain your plan of
attack. Things are going to be tough for a few days but
then after everyone gets together and orders things up,
you’ll have a smooth running home. Assure them it’ll be
worth it and *you* are going to set an example. (If
your children are all very young, then enlist the help
of a trusted friend or a young lady who’d be willing to
come help you get your house back.)
So then… You’ve been going around the house, gathering
up stuff that needed to be tossed, washed or taken to
another room. Now that you have things in the right
rooms---even if they’re still in boxes… keep attempting
order! FIRST clean out/order up the drawers and closet.
RUN and switch the loads in the laundry— folding into
the basket(s) for distribution later... then go back to
the bedrooms... Now you are ready to tackle each pile.
Put the clean clothes back in the drawers or closet, put
the dirty clothes in the barrel in the hallway (because
you will have found dirty clothes in the closet and
drawers). Put away the shoes. Put all the books where
they go. Give away most all the toys! Seriously! Allow
only the number of toys that will fit on a specific toy
shelf or in the toy cupboard. If you have a toy
cupboard or cabinet, then get a latch to keep the CLEAN
cabinet closed until permission is granted to have a
play time or whatever. Consider getting a lock for the
cabinet if chaos is a problem. Keep everything put away
until it is time to rotate the toys and exchange them
for the *few* that are in daily use. Make sure you put
things you find (that need to go elsewhere) into a box
designated for that. Put the things for “give-away” out
in the garage or in another location — set a plan for
actually taking them to the thrift-store.
GO switch the loads again — folding clothes into the
basket(s) again. This should take you less than 15
minutes each time. Then go back and— put away the
"stuff" particular to each person... papers, books, hair
things, etc. When you have gone through all the piles,
then go through the box of things you have gathered from
all over the house. Put the stuff away. Don't keep
junk or junque. Then clean up the rest of the room.
Again, this might be done over a period of days! Dust
everything, wash the windows, curtains, light fixtures,
vacuum, arrange things, make places for things to go.
Put up shelves or whatever you can do — some shelves or
containers may just need to be temporary for right now —
don’t let that hinder you from pressing on. Don’t
compare your self or your work or your possessions to
someone else or someone else’s. Above all, set the
Joyful example!!!
Learn to put things away each time yourself!!!
Specifically label shelves if you need to — this will be
for *you* to put things away. Others will catch on,
too! A shelf or shelving unit by the backdoor can hold
the shoes. A basket in a designated spot can hold mail
— same place every day, another can hold things for your
husband, and another one can hold newspapers. Large
hooks on the Hall wall can hold coats, hats, mittens,
purses, duffel bags. Hooks in the bathroom can hold
towels. Hooks by the door can hold your keys and your
purse. A large box at the bottom of the stairs can hold
the things that need to be put away at the end of EACH
day—every day. A hamper in the hallway can hold the
dirty clothes. A shelf can be made by each child’s bed
to hold specific things just for that child.
As dinner is taken care of each day, new habits for
mealtimes and new determination for order is
established, you’ll begin to understand and realize a
new freedom. And there’s nothing like success to
“breed success!”
A basin of soapy water can sit in the sink to hold
dishes till washing time and while you are preparing
meals. Learn to clean as you go. A shelf in the hallway
can hold the different baskets of books and papers for
each child's school work. Children’s
schoolbooks/workbooks can be kept in separate bins or
basins so that they will keep things together for each
day’s work. A shelf in the most-used room can hold the
box or bin of library books or borrowed books —label
that box and don’t let other books/tapes/CD’s in that
designated “Library Box.”.
Washcloths in a basket on a kitchen shelf can be ready
to be wet and given to each child at meal time to wipe
up their area and themselves—you'd be surprised how far
this little procedure can take you!!! It’s amazing how
clean you can keep things by employing this little habit
of hand-wiping and table-chair wiping at mealtimes. A
basin can be used at each mealtime to gather all the
dishes and flatware to take to the kitchen— use less
steps and get more done. You see the pattern? Do more
in less time and get more done with fewer steps.
Get up each day and get going — you'll be so glad you
did. Play beautiful music — get rid of agitating music
— really, that so-called upbeat music will eventually
agitate you and will subconsciously agitate your
children. It you have a TV, get rid of it or keep it
OFF! Keep computer time in check! And despite what
anyone says about dexterity and coordination, computers
are not the best use of time and skill---and for right
now, there’s no time for computers—later, yes, but right
now you have a mountain to scale and conquer. Keep
everyone busy and attempt joyful attitudes—whiners are
downers. Little slogans help… no whiner at this diner
but a winner eats dinner… they’ll catch on. No
“murmuring” is key!
Well, this whole process above may take weeks—and you’ll
need to repeat it daily till you get it ALL done! You
already have what it takes to do what you need to do.
The Lord will help you — He is a God of order and He
loves you and will help you accomplish what you need
to do: with joy. Don't give up — it's worth it!!
Colossians 1.11
Remember… it all starts on your knees: the Most High
place.
With love,
pamela
spurling