The Appearance of a Christian
Woman and Her Reputation
by pamela spurling
Can you open the door and say "Welcome Home!" to the
LORD? I have some heavy thoughts on my heart...I have been wanting to write about this for
many weeks; I don't know if it is the presence of spring or the sights I have been seeing,
but I would sure like to share with you something that is on my heart, and it is the
subject of modesty. I am deeply concerned that what I write today will be taken to heart
and will not cause a "reaction." This topic doesn't come from any specific place
or from any organization and I have no personal "agenda" in sharing this with
you. I just pray the LORD will use this message to inspire women to godliness and
obedience to the Lord Jesus. I have committed to the LORD once again to share what He lays
on my heart to share.
A woman who fears the LORD
We have an obligation because of our freedom in Christ
to
honour the Lord Jesus and our brothers in the LORD by our dress and by our behavior. For
many years I was totally unaware of how my dress and behavior affected others. I was
indifferent to the fact that I was, by the clothing I was wearing, causing a brother to
stumble. It would be many years into my Christian walk before I realized I had an
obligation to the LORD to avoid the appearance of evil, that I had a responsibility to
protect the gift that I am to my husband and the duty to my brothers in the LORD to not be
a stumbling block. Evil, you say? Yes... if I disregard my behavior and am careless about
the message of the cross, I see this as evil. How frequently and easily we apply this to
"drinking" and how acceptable it is for a Christian to not "drink" so
as not to cause a brother to stumble, but how seldom this is applied to the area of modest
dress. I believe the LORD has called me to minister to women and to share the 'hard
things' and I am willing to be scoffed at for the sake of the LORD. I am aware that
whenever this subject comes up, there will be accusation of legalism or of
"bondage." I am perfectly comfortable hearing these allegations because I
probably at one time rejected these truths or thought the same thing until I began to
understand the difference between legalism and obedience. When a woman is in the bonds of
legalism, she depends on behaviors or thoughts and the performing of these duties as
necessary to keeping or obtaining salvation. So then, fundamentally, legalism becomes a
religion unto itself. So where does obedience to the Word differ from legalism in behavior
and thought? In the last several years I have thought on this question perhaps thousands
of times... wondering what in this world should a woman wear, how should a woman behave,
where should a woman spend her time, how should a woman go about loving her husband and
how should she live pleasing the LORD? So... here goes: It matters what a Christian woman
looks like. It matters what she wears and doesn't wear. She is a representative of the
LORD. She is an "advertisement," if you will, for the LORD. I recently shared
with you how important it is for the reputation of the LORD and other Christian women how
one looks to the "watching world." I am not referring to the physical appearance
of a woman's body, whether she is tall, short, thin, large, small, etc., etc.; but her
appearance: When a Christian woman is out to shop or to run errands, it does matter what
she looks like. It matters what statement she is making about the LORD and about the
reputation of her sisters in the LORD. Today, I am not simply referring to the appearance
of neatness or cleanliness, but I am concerned about another area, and that is the area of
modesty. Modesty is about as foreign to some as living in a mansion or in a hut or
fluently speaking a foreign language. What is modesty... and what does the Word say about
modesty? Not the world, but the Word. 1Timothy 2:9 says, "In like manner also, that
women adorn themselves in modest apparel..." Why is it important for a Christian
woman to dress modestly? How modest is modest? Well, I have been mulling over this
question for years... How low is too low and how high is too high... and what does it
matter anyway? I used to think a one piece bathing suit was a modest thing to wear to the
beach. I used to think that jeans were fine. I used to think that short skirts and
strapless evening dresses were fine... until I began to ask the question: is this attire
appropriate to the LORD? I began to ask myself what I would think were I to open the door
and see the LORD standing on my porch... would it be pleasing to Him? Would it bring glory
or shame to His Name?
There are numerous books written on style, glamour, colour
charts, appearance and fashion. Everywhere we go, the world is dictating how we should
dress---how we should look. Just today, a news article was commenting on the newest
hairstyle trend being made popular by an actress in a movie. We often blindly follow the
trends, consulting the magazines rather than consulting the Word. Many have written
articles on the meanings of the verses in 1 Timothy and in 1 Peter 3 regarding the dress
of a woman. Sadly, these articles rarely appear in "mainstream" Christian
magazines and so to many Christian women, the discussion of modest dress either never
comes up or it is rejected as under the category of legalism or fundamentalism. After
reading these and other verses in the Bible, what would you say? Studying the meanings of
the different words rendered "apparel," would you say that modest dress is for
legalists? I don't think you would, in fact, I believe a careful study of the Scriptures
necessitates a trip to the closet and a "weeding out" of inappropriate clothing.
Maybe you are thinking right now that you already do dress
modestly but perhaps there are a few things that may attract attention to you in a way
that is not appropriate. I share this with you all today, because I cannot recall a time I
ever had instruction from the pulpit or from a Sunday School teacher in appropriate or
inappropriate dress. I did not know that it was even something I ought to be concerned
with. However, the more I read the Word, and the more I prayed to be a godly woman, the
more I realized that my appearance really did matter and I began the journey to
appropriate, modest dress. I am still studying to understand what it means to dress in
modest apparel---apparel that does not cause a brother to stumble. I probably told you
about a time ten years ago where I sat watching women and men watching women. I was amazed
that the women in tight or low or short clothing were completely unaware of the
distraction they were to some of the men. I was (in this "Christian" setting)
further aware of the women who *did* know that the men were watching and the
subtle entertainment and deception that was taking place... Entertaining to both the man
and the woman and deceptive because of the emotions that were being stirred that were
inappropriate and could or would not ever be rightly fulfilled. It was an occasion to
entertain lust of the eyes and the pride of life. No matter what the world says about
fantasy and entertainment... it is wrong. Does this matter? Yes, it matters. You might say
something like, "well, I am not like that..." You are probably not like that...
and then again, it is flattering to be found attractive by a man. You might say you no
longer have an attractive figure or appearance... I think you'd be surprised at the
different things men find attractive. Good men, married men, dedicated men.... You might
say, "those men should learn to control themselves!" I'd reply, you're right and
jokingly say that that would be like telling them to stop breathing. You might laugh a
little, but I would exhort you to pray and ask the LORD what He would have you to do
regarding this subject of dress and appropriate clothing for the godly woman and then to
talk candidly with your husband about men and what they see and what they think, how
easily their thoughts are tantalized by the sights they see.
You may feel like you have dressed in a certain way for so long
that you wouldn't be able to change now. Or, you may feel like you *like* the way you
dress and it's too bad what others think. Would you be open to the LORD and His
promptings? I do join you in praying for what is best and seeking what is or isn't
appropriate. I would just say in closing, that it really does matter what you wear and how
you represent the very God we serve. He has given us all we need in the Word for
instruction as to what we ought to wear and how we ought to appear.
2Timothy 3:16 "All scripture is given by inspiration of God,
and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in
righteousness:"
pamela spurling ~ The Welcome Home ~ 2000-2001
|