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Are You Committed?

by pamela spurling

Are you committed to your husband: thick or thin, good or bad, rich or poor, sick or healthy, happy or sad, prosperity or adversity, fat or thin, warm or cold, wise or foolish, intelligent or ignorant-------committed?

Commitment rides the waves in storms of adversity, savors the joy of romance, perseveres through trials and testings and is loyal to the covenant made before the Lord Most High. Another word for this commitment is: love. It is the love described in 1 Corinthians 13. It bears all things, it believes all things, it hopes all things, and it endures all things---it never fails. But we do fail, don’t we… we do lose hope, we do find things unbearable, we don’t believe the best, and we do fail to be persistent, don’t we!? These things seem simple to commit to before marriage… they are simple to commit to during the wedding ceremony, they are simple to commit to for the first few weeks of marriage, then… life happens. Life is what happens when you least expect it---and then oftentimes, the very things we think we are sure of seem to fade out of focus and doubts, grief, and disappointment cloud the picture of reality. It is in these times that we often reject the very commitment we once found so easy to keep.

When David was running from King Saul, he continually had to out fox him, out smart his moves, and remain hidden from him---until one point when David slyly closed in on Saul and was daring enough to cut a portion of Saul’s garment---the Word says he cut off his skirt---totally unbeknownst to Saul. I think this would be likened to a wife doing something unbeknownst to her husband… a sort of conquest against him. Initially asserting herself and then later remembering the vows she once valued so highly. In due time, David’s heart condemned him and he knew what he’d done was wrong---it was spiteful and didn’t show the respect due the King. We do things like this sometimes, don’t we… knowing full well that a statement or thought or an action will be disrespectful or irreverent to our husband---yet, we say, or think, or do it anyway. We even think we are fully justified in doing so… and then our hearts condemn us

Now, while Saul was a man almost after God’s own heart, the Scriptures tell us that David surely was a man after God’s own heart---though he failed (miserably!) his heart was for God. Saul had many opportunities to serve and wholly obey the LORD but he didn’t do it. He attempted to obey God---but not completely… like we do many times, instead of obeying God completely, he decided to add his own wisdom to God’s directions for a more suitable outcome---we do this, don’t we!?! Our husbands relate to us something they want to have accomplished, or something they want to have done and we take it as a mere suggestion, as an idea and often "comply" in a way that we think is best rather than in the way they asked or preferred it to be done. We’re not unlike Eve when it comes to making decisions in situations we face: looks good, seems good: must be good-----------but is it right???

Okay… so now, where am I going with this story of Saul and David? The thing that governed David’s behavior toward Saul was loyalty… he was loyal to God. He was loyal to a commitment to not hurt or stretch forth his hand to God’s anointed. In the same way, our loyalty to our husband must be what governs our behavior because ultimately, our loyalty to our husband reflects or demonstrate our love and obedience to God. It must be the overriding factor when making decisions. If it isn’t, our decisions will likely be based on what we think is best for us rather than what is best for our husband/marriage and will be contrary to the Word of God.

Loyalty will stand in the face of adversity… it will overcome disappointment and despair and tragedy---but loyalty cannot stand alone, it must stand with commitment and this commitment cannot stand without love…

I share this with you today because I have had many experiences where my loyalty to my husband was compromised---compromised by schedules, personal plans, projects, etc. Sometimes I forget to remember… I neglect to put first the very things that are top priority and allow my perceived needs to dictate my schedule and thoughts. You know, recently my husband was disappointed in me over a matter---he is very rarely disappointed in me and so this caught my attention immediately! As he shared his concerns with me, immediately my wall of protection went up, my defenses were readied, and I prepared my justifications. And then…… I thought on my ways… and in my heart, my thoughts condemned me and I knew he was right---I was wrong. I needed to confess that he was right---this was made more clear when I went before the LORD in early morning quiet time. Amazingly, when I did confess to the LORD that I was wrong, sharing this with my husband was almost simple. Because my husband is deeply committed me and to his walk with the LORD, his forgiving arms were open to me and his understanding was great toward me. Now, why had I resisted him? why had I thought my way was best? Pride… it is the pride in us that makes us think we are justified in whatever we decide is right at the time---but committed love crushed that pride, and I was able to be set on the right path once again. You see, I knew in my heart that my husband’s love for me bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things---it never fails. Even when I think his disappointment translates into lack of love, I must realize that the exact opposite is true---it is because of his love for me that he wanted the best for me and knew I hadn’t chosen the best---he knew I had chosen a wrong path and set out to help me back on the right path. This is genuine love---I knew it then, and I know it now.

So, once again: Loyalty will stand in the face of adversity… it will overcome disappointment and despair and tragedy---but loyalty cannot stand alone, it must stand with commitment and this commitment cannot stand without love… this will be true in your marriage and it will be true in your walk as a woman of God. The LORD is your defense, a very present help in trouble. (Ps 46.1)

I pray as you read this today that you will not forget to remember.

I also pray that you stand, therefore in Faith and having done all, to stand.

"Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;"

Ephesians 6.10-18

pamela spurling ~ TheWelcomeHome ~ 2001 ~   19992010   PO Box 2130 Snohomish, Washington 98291 USA
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