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A letter of love to you
by pamela spurling

Sisters in the LORD… I think of you, of you who write from time to time to share the burdens of your heart and your prayer requests; I think of you from whom I rarely hear; I think of you whom I will likely never meet, nor ever speak with this side of heaven. I have been asked why I write weekly messages to women… I have asked myself why is the desire to reach women so incredibly intense? Under spiritual attack from time to time, I find the accusations and questions intensify: who do you think you are, and what makes you think your messages are needed? These and many other questions and doubts flood my mind. Amazingly, when I feel no direction and no prompting on a particular message, the attacks are minimal; however, when I have a particular message weighing on my heart, the attacks are phenomenal and the distractions that prevent me from committing the words to paper are too numerous to recount.

I believe the LORD has called me to share personal matters with you and other sisters in Christ and I am humbled and sobered at the opportunity. I know when I receive messages and letters from other sisters whom the LORD has also called to share, I am blessed by their instruction, correction and inspiration to live godly in Christ Jesus. I am grateful to the LORD that He is calling and equipping many to encourage and instruct women in the ways of the God.

I call this a letter of love to you today because I am compelled to share my heart and some thoughts with you. I’m troubled and burdened increasingly as I watch the decline of godly obedience and the lack of spiritual growth and sensitivity prevailing in the church. Incidentally, I’ve not come to these conclusions by critical observation, rather these conclusions are borne of reflections on letters I continually receive from, and conversations I have with, Christian women. The defeated lives, the lack of spiritual growth and hunger, the compromises, the distractions, and the lack of obedience to known commands is grievous. Another angle from which I glean these observations, is from those who feel so very alone in their walk… alone because they know no one or very few who personally live out what the Word expressly teaches women/wives. They are longing for leaders to emulate, women to walk alongside them to inspire them in the way.

In seeking the LORD to be used of Him, I began to see a pattern of Him using the failings, imperfections and weaknesses in my daily life and personal experiences---for I have surely experienced all of those things I have just mentioned in the previous paragraph---all these things to be redeemed and used by Him. I wasn’t growing as a believer, I had compromised, I had been distracted by the things of the world and the pride of life, and obedience to the Word had been lacking either out of ignorance or deliberate intent. I didn’t have personally, nor did I cultivate friendships with women who were literally living testimonies for the LORD. Sadly, for many years I didn’t even know I was so sorely lacking!

Then, in my distress, I cried out to the LORD…my gracious, precious LORD, who patiently was working in me to become a vessel He could use, began to lead me in ways I would never have imagined. About that time, one of my children painted a picture of Jesus on the cross and wrote the verse:

2 Corinthians 5:21 "For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him."

That we might be made the righteousness of God in him! In Him! Righteousness! I was broken, because I knew that I was not living in this way. Maybe you have had that same type of experience---or, maybe you had that experience at conversion and didn’t wallow in habits and well worn patterns of living as I did well past my conversion.

I still wandered a bit, I still wondered where I would find real life role models…I thought I would be traveling this road alone; But God. But God in His mercy had many marvelous plans for me. It was in the Bible all along. You know, this is why I can say with certainty that He has marvelous plans for you, too. Not only do we read it in the Word (Romans 8.28; Jeremiah 29.13) but we also see it confirmed all around us. He is for us, not willing that any should perish (2 Peter 3.9) I began watch and wait on Him. I began to allow Him to lead and to carry me through trials and testings. Soon, I began to see that He really did carry me through disappointments--- disappointments of the present and disappointments of the past. While I was unfaithful, He proved to be more faithful… I grew to trust Him more and saw that He was trustworthy all along---Oh, how much I had missed in my foolishness! How silly I was to fear what I’d have to give up… about that time I began to see for myself the depth of the truth of the words of Jim Elliot: "He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."

The thing I learned is that I needed to *want* to grow. I needed to want to change and to allow God’s tender Hand to work in my life… I needed to sacrifice what I thought was right and turn to what and where He was leading. I needed to give up my precious plans and my precious sleep to worship before Him and to glean from the truths of His Word. It was so hard for me to do this, because I was so very sure that I already knew the way---that I could grow with God at my pace, in my way. I didn’t know this was such ignorant thinking---nor did I know that it was foolish to accept only the hors d’oeuvres of the Christian life… I was dabbling around the punch bowl not dipping into the wonderful deep well of the Word. Engaging superficially in the Christian walk, It was as if I was feasting on spiritual junk-food thinking it was nourishing enough; entertainment occupied my reading time and the fruit of my life was not rich and sweet. It was when I began to really read, and to record the mighty wonders of the LORD in my journal, when I began to seriously meet---not just desire to meet with Him each morning, that He began to be my LORD… my precious LORD. I was broken before Him and realized my grievous ways… I began to see that He loves me. Yes… really. Unworthy as I am, I began to see that this is true---unworthy, needy, deficient and prone to sin as I am---He loves me. Frail and failing and feeble as my attempts to love and please Him are yet today, He loves me…this I now know, yes Jesus loves me, this I know.

This is why I call this a letter of love to you today. You see, He loves you. Yes, unworthy, needy, deficient and prone to sin as you are, He loves you. You are His precious daughter… the precious daughter for whom He died and rose again. You were uniquely created and specially designed by God who has a wonderful plan for your life. He didn’t use a template to create us each exactly the same, neither did He simply randomly set us in motion. He obviously has many different ways in which He will use and direct each one, just has He has many ways of demonstrating His love to the wandering and suffering world. Each woman has a unique design to be used by God in particular to demonstrate His love. All those trials and disappointments you have experienced or the hurts you are experiencing today have been allowed by Him for your good and for His glory. He will cover you, He will carry you, He will walk with you today…get up and take hold of the outstretched Hand.

When you rise to meet Him, He’ll already have His chair pulled up next to yours…When you turn to light the lamp, He’ll already have raised your blinds… When you look to Him to utter His Name… He’ll already have His ear turned toward you, ready to hear your supplications and your cries and He’ll already be ready to dry your tears and to hold your hand. When you pray, lift up your hands and lay them in His. With certainty, you can rest assured that what He said is true…"…I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." (Hebrews 13.5) You never have to walk alone again… you never have to be afraid again… you never have to wonder again if there is anyone who understands or anyone who cares for your soul----He cares…you have His promise… it’s in His Word…. His letter of love to you…

pamela spurling ~ The Welcome Home ~ 2001

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