A Family Well Loved?

Sandy Willoughby 


A friend and I were talking one day about husbands and wives. Somehow or another… we found ourselves discussing how one can look at a man and tell if he is or is not… well loved. We brought up a woman who told her husband’s family that he knew “when her ministry called, she was there” in a tone that clearly revealed what she meant; that her husband could forget it (needs, wants, or desires) if someone related to “her” ministry called.  When you look into the eyes of this man --- a look is truly worth the thousand words we hear they are--- for he does not appear to be a well loved man.

I made a comment that anyone in any ministry should see well to the ways of their own homes before healing, fixing, praying, teaching, counseling, and in all other ways serving the homes of others. I shared that those right there in the homes should be well cared for before one rushed out the door in the “name” of ministry!


Mother Theresa quoted often on this!  “It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your own home for this is where our love for each other must start.”


I was so bothered and so upset by the very nerve that someone could put a ministry in front of their precious family… how could anyone do that? How could anyone neglect even the first or smallest need of their family before “saving the world” for their “ministry”?


What happens anytime we get this self righteousness going on? 


We fall from our self made pedestals and our faces hit the dirt and dust of reality! This time was no exception. God let my mind rant and rave over the injustice of it all and when I stopped to regulate my breathing… He motioned for me to look at something.

That something was not something, sisters. It was someone. Guess who? Me. Myself. I. Was it a pretty picture or a “glamour shot”? Not quite. This was a bit more humble than that. This was a Nathan being sent to David moment. Are you familiar with the passage I’m referring to?

Let me share:


“The LORD sent Nathan to David. When he came to him, he said, ‘There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb he had bought. He raised it, and it grew up with him and his children. It shared his food, drank from his cup and even slept in his arms. It was like a daughter to him. Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him.’” 2 Samuel 12:1-4


What did David do?

He got furious! He “burned” with anger against this man! “David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, ‘As surely as the LORD lives, the man who did this deserves to die! He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity.’” 2 Samuel 12: 5-6

What did Nathan do?

He told David… <YOU ARE THE MAN!> 2 Samuel 12:7


Where am I leading this?

To me, for I am that woman!


The very thing I was so upset about in someone else has been  happening right here in my own life and I didn’t even see it! “How could this be, Father?”

“Well, daughter, let us look and see… your husband prepared dinner for the third time last night so that half of the family could eat and the other half of you were gone --- doing ---- and eating, elsewhere.”


“Yes, Lord… but it wasn’t the third time in a ROW…”


“Well, daughter, you scolded your 14 year old son for trying to wear his baseball cap into a building. That would be fine except he has never been able to stand hair falling down in his eyes and his was. You got busy and forgot to set the hair appointment again this week. But you helped with your sister’s children… you counseled a friend about her child. I guess it must be a matter of proper priorities, right? Hey, child… isn’t that the exact topic you write on so much? Isn’t that what you… minister…?”


“Yes, God, it is. Will you forgive me?”


“Yes. Forgive yourself and make sure that one sees ‘well loved’ when looking at your family. This is how I make sure they see YOU, MY child.”


The surrendered to Christ Christian can be looked upon and seen as “well loved”. I am His child and He has perfect priorities. He doesn’t let me do without to run off and serve another country. No… He makes sure I am well cared for on a constant basis and because His work is done in perfect order and precision… everything keeps a beautiful balance.


So… what does a well loved family look like?


 A well loved husband wears clean and wrinkle free clothing. If he pulled something out of a heap of dirty laundry and tried to “make do” … it would probably be quite noticeable! He smiles through his eyes… there is a light present not seen in a man without love to fill him. This man has a peace about him for he awoke to a home of peace, left a peaceful home, had peaceful images of family and home to reflect on and knows he’ll be going back to a home of peace when his day is done.

A well loved man knows he is well loved and his life reflects that. He is content and the well loved is a happier man. This man has an all around healthy appearance --- one that comes from the inside out. A well loved child – whether one child or twenty – will be clean, neat, and reveal a look of health. The nose will be clean and the eyes will be clear. The skin will have a rosy glow and the hair will have a natural shine.

The smile will be bright in a happy, healthy child. Anxious looks and behavior won’t be present in a secure and well cared for child and/or teenager. A well loved teenager reveals a lot about his/her parents. He/she might dress different than one might prefer but they will do so with a lack of the rebellion more troubled souls might exhibit. A well loved teen will still have the twinkle left in their eyes and they will smile. A teen who slumps when they walk… never cracks a grin… mopes about appearing forlorn, lost, sad, angry, and alone… usually need more love than they are getting.


A well loved family?

A well loved family is one that stays together in spirit even when they go out to live their separate days. They have been filled up at home… by their wives, by their mothers. They are filled with so much love that it overflows into the lives around them. It flows out in their work… in their words… in the very lives that they lead.

A well loved family is one where the woman of the home fits a:


“Proverbs Profile”


It is a world where the husband trusts his wife all day every day without concern for what she’ll be doing or where she’ll be going because he knows whatever it is… she’ll be doing good and not harm. Behind a well loved family is a woman at work with willing hands.  A woman who rises while it is still night and provides food for her household. A well loved family is a well fed family.  A well loved family is built by a woman who girds her loins with strength and makes her arms strong. . . one whose lamp does not go out at night.  A woman whose family is well loved can freely give to the poor and she can freely reach her hands out to the needy. How? Because her own family is already cared for and God blesses her with more to give!  A well loved family is adequately dressed regardless of the season. The beloved Proverbs woman keeps a list of clothing needs and checks it as often as necessary so proper clothing can be kept. She uses her money and skills wisely and takes the time to look around to get the best possible price for the highest quality items.  A wise woman knows to keep herself cared for and dressed properly so that she sets an example for her family and to reveal that her God takes care of her well.  A well loved family is a result of a woman of strength and dignity who joyfully laughs at the days to come.


Those in a well loved family have been exposed to beautiful wisdom by a woman who speaks with kindness on her tongue. A well loved family shows the hard work a woman looking well to the ways of her household and is in no way idle. Her family’s well cared for look is proof of that. [Based on Proverbs 31:10-31]


Loving Wives, Mothers, & Women of God, are you laughing at the days to come? To laugh at the days to come would imply happiness and would indicate a complete void of fear. Everything taken care of… on a daily basis.


I pray that God will show us our real selves and our real lives every time we fall off course or even begin to. Revealing our faults and failures to us is an act of love by the Holy Spirit. Otherwise, we’d live in such unseen sin and darkness that it might take our entire lives to see the light! HE shines His light on us without waver when we ask Him to and listen for His voice in our lives.


This computer is messing up again so I’ll close for now…


I pray that God will reveal anything in need of changing in your home so that you can pray for forgiveness… cleanse yourself from the sin… and start taking care of things. Such peach will be in store for you… such priceless peace if you do.

Is your family fed? Nourished by not only food but nurtured by your love and care as well? If not… please take care of them before you stretch yourself thin with others. I am feeding my own home fires now and I pray to remain much more in tune with those in HERE from now on!


“Once in awhile we should ask ourselves several questions in order to guide our actions. We should ask questions like: Do I know the poor? Do I know, in the first place, the poor in my family, those who are closest to me – people who are poor, but not because they lack bread?  There are other types of poverty just as painful because they are more intrinsic. Perhaps what my husband or wife lacks, what my children lack, what my parents lack, is not clothes or food. Perhaps they lack love, because I do not give it to them!” Mother Teresa [I’ve given up finding the correct spelling of this saint’s name since different publications list it both ways!]

Love, SandyJ

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