But By God's Grace Go We...  Let's be gracious to single mothers
Glenys Hicks


Single mothers who bring up their children unto the LORD have an immensely difficult time of it and usually are not given much help- even from the Body of Christ. For those women who truly believe that being a stay-at-home-mother is a commandment and not a life-style, it is imperative that they be given the chance to support their family. Please note that I did not say that the Church should support them entirely- they want to find a way of supporting themselves from home- but I do think that they should be given a helping hand by the Church to set up a cottage industry or some home business.


Unfortunately, most single mothers have found that not only is financial help lacking in the Church, but also social support. They are often made to feel second rate Christians, even when the divorce or separation is not their fault. Yet they continue to apply Christian principles to their own lives and that of their children’s upbringing and have to endure many unkind remarks if they ask for assistance in living out their beliefs- especially earning money from home so as to be with their children.


Often these remarks come from pastors who should know better and who also should know their scriptures better.  They sometimes should put the brake on their own words and listen to what the Word of God has to say about a given subject. In this case single parenting and being home bringing children up unto the LORD. For some single women fight a great battle against being ridiculed as wanting to be supported by others to stay at home with the children. They are told to review their life-style!


To suggest that by obeying God's Word in Titus 2 and loving your children and home, being chaste and being a keeper at home is a life-style is ridiculous! A life-style is a choice- Christians don't have a choice! Obedience to the Word is never a choice but a command and an expectation in the Christian's walk. You are obeying the Word- and taking the path that is most difficult and narrow-but we know it leads to Life.

The Church should be looking after true widows and the fatherless. (1Tim 5-16)  A woman bringing up her children alone is a widow in a sense- and to some degree, her children are fatherless. I believe that all single Christian mothers who choose to obey God should be helped by the Church. Especially in the matter of starting up a cottage industry or home business to provide for their family.  


Now obviously Timothy states that the young widows are not to be supported by the Church- but these mothers are not asking for support, just a helping hand in getting a home business started to help them support their family whilst still obeying the Scriptures. To my mind, these people/pastors who attack these single mothers are lacking in compassion and godly wisdom.


There is no easy and gentle way to reveal Truth in cases where there are pharisaical ideas! Jesus certainly didn't skirt around the Truth looking for a way to be gentle with the hypocrites and Pharisees! I just pray before I write and then I write with boldness! If it offends- well the truth often hurts! And if in the end, the readers/hearers heed what is truthfully pointed out, then perhaps they will be of some help in the 'difficult-enough-path-without-this' period of single mothers’ lives.


Too often we find that the Church lacks one thing- GRACE. Single mothers, you are doing a great job! May God bless you and keep you and make His countenance shine upon you and give you peace! And grant those who harshly judge you for doing what is right a liberal dose of compassion and understanding!    


Glenys Robyn Hicks

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