Cooking With Children
This material is from a talk
I gave to a home-school meeting... I share
it with you here to encourage you in your
home and training of children in the
kitchen.
Cooking with children can be one
of the most enjoyable pastimes and pleasurable
teaching experiences you’ll have as a mother.
It has been my experience that it’s also one of
the most rewarding. When you take the time to
teach your children to cook, you’re investing in
their future and you’re passing on a bit of your
past. Have you considered that your children are
the legacy of your life… they are the epistle of
your life. Whatever you write into them will be
read by the world and possibly emulated by
many. Whatever you instill in them today will
be the foundation upon which all other things
are built.
O, this is so important… your
children need you---you likely cannot begin to
fathom the influence you are or that you have in
and on their lives. It truly is immeasurable.
Things you do today will shape their
lives---but the sobering thought is: what you
don’t do today will shape their lives.
They will either accept or reject your
teaching…. model or disregard your instruction…
they will either cherish or despise your
teaching and much will depend on the value
you’ve placed on them and the time you’ve given
them through their lives. You will either
equip them or you will, in a sense, paralyze
them. You will equip them to be creative,
hospitable, self-sufficient and gracious
– or –
you will hinder all those things by not
attempting to nurture and foster the growth of
those things.
Tonight we’re focusing on
incorporating children in the kitchen and as I
share with you, you might begin to wonder why I
would spend so much time talking about
discipline, training, modeling and foundational
things. I share these things because the actual
cooking is a very small part of children
preparing meals with you in the kitchen. I
share these things because there are some very
important and often overlooked aspects of
cooking and baking. There are foundational
activities that will ensure successful cooking.
There are things I’ve learned along the way,
things I learned by trial and error---things
I’ve taught many children and am in the process
of teaching today.
Think of your daily lives…
probably, next to laundry, meal preparation is
the most time-consuming activity each day.
And… if it is such a time consuming activity,
then probably it’s wise to pay close attention
to the specifics and the realities involved.
It’s probably the most noticeable thing you
do---but a lot of what goes into the planning,
providing and preparation is likely not known or
noticed. This truth is an aspect of homemaking
that trips up moms the most… much of the work
that that you do, no one sees and therefore it’s
not acknowledged. So here’s what happens when a
mom gets tripped up in this area… she tends to
feel like she’s the only one doing
anything---that no one cares about what she does
and then… sometimes begins to believe one of the
greatest lies… and that is that what she does is
unimportant. At this point lots of moms give
up---thinking it’s not worth it to work for
people who don’t care anyway. OR---she becomes
a martyr… “no one will help so I will just do it
myself!” That attitude then permeates other
areas of homemaking and then she is beaten down
in the battle and loses her joy. But then there
are some moms who see the reality that the
planning, providing and preparation is likely
not known or noticed and she sets about training
up her children… she sets about incorporating
them in the process and begins to build in them
a foundation that will stand firm and set them
in good stead all through their lives. She is
the wise woman who builds her house.
The reality is that everyone
needs to eat. Most everyone likes to
eat and most everyone has, to one degree or
another, fond memories of special meals,
traditional favourite family dinners or, even
food preparation---even washing dishes and
clean-up.
So let’s talk about the
atmosphere in your home for a moment. I
guess I can’t stress enough the importance of
atmosphere in your home---particularly in your
kitchen. Your children
will want to be with you
there if it’s pleasant to be there and
they *won’t* want to be---if it’s
not!
You can do a lot of things to
make it nice to be there but amazingly you can
also give a
do not disturb message
by the way you behave or the way
you interact with your children in the kitchen.
You can make it enjoyable or shear drudgery to
cook. You can make cleaning: enjoyable or
dreadful.
You can make presentation: warm
and welcoming or you can make it a trial.
You see?
You have a tremendous
responsibility----it’s weighty, but it doesn’t
have to be cumbersome.
You know, the LORD tells us to
take His yoke upon us… that His yoke is easy and
His burden is light. Now if you’ve ever seen an
actual yoke, you’ll know that it is firm and
steadfast. You know that a yoke keeps oxen or
cattle in line and when the oxen are pulling
together, the result is impressive. But if the
oxen are pulled, they tend to resist; if they’re
driven to hard, they become weary and
unproductive. Now, I don’t mean to suggest that
a mother is like a yoke and children are like
oxen (though you might draw your own
conclusions, there), what I do mean to imply is:
the working together to accomplish the work and
produce great results… and that the working
together is actually very bonding… like a yoke.
I say bonding, not bondage.
You can do a great deal to make
the work easy and the burden light.
Now… I’m not suggesting that
every child will enjoy cooking so much that
they’ll want to spend a lot of time in the
kitchen creating magnificent meals, or even that
they’ll naturally be great cooks, but I do
firmly believe that food preparation is one of
the most basic and needful activities of our
lives.
It is the very practical part of
hospitality ---- and hospitality is mentioned
numerous times in the Word as a necessary and
meaningful thing… in fact, it is a gift and a
directive for the members of the body of Christ.
|
Romans 12.5-13
”So we, being many, are one body in
Christ, and every one members one of
another. Having then gifts differing
according to the grace that is given to
us, whether prophecy, let us prophesy
according to the proportion of faith;
Or ministry, let us wait on our
ministering: or he that teacheth, on
teaching; Or he that exhorteth, on
exhortation: he that giveth, let him do
it with simplicity; he that ruleth, with
diligence; he that sheweth mercy, with
cheerfulness. Let love be without
dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil;
cleave to that which is good. Be
kindly affectioned one to another with
brotherly love; in honour preferring one
another; Not slothful in business;
fervent in spirit; serving the Lord;
Rejoicing in hope; patient in
tribulation; continuing instant in
prayer; Distributing to the necessity
of saints; given to hospitality.”
1Peter 4.9: Use hospitality one to
another without grudging.
It is a measure of a man seeking the
office of an elder, or bishop
See: 1Timothy 3.2, Titus 1.8 |
Okay… so here we go. Probably
the most important message I hope you’ll glean
tonight is the need to make Spending
Time
with your children
a treasured priority!
Make time for them… Plan time
with them and guard time with them!
Make them a welcome part of your life---they’ll
know if they are ---And--- they’ll
know it if they aren’t.
They’ll be painfully aware if
they’re just tolerated and joyfully aware if
they’re precious to you.
It’s never too early to begin
AND never too late to start working
together with your children on
anything---especially cooking in the kitchen.
The motivation will be there no matter the age
if you make it fun or interesting and if you
meet their need at the time.
You’re not going to entice a
teenage boy with the same food that will delight
a preschooler. The teenager will know he’s
really not cooking anything important if he’s
just stirring the milk into the pancake batter.
But teach him to make a great chocolate chip
cookie or pizza and you’ll have an eager,
competent cook!
Cooking is rewarding if you make
it interesting. Little children need
fewer ingredients and less time required for
preparation of the recipe. Older children
need to be encouraged to try new
things---starting simple and working to more
difficult recipes.
If it’s their first time actually
in the kitchen to do more than make toast or
stir hot cereal, you’re going to need to still
attend to them, sort of for direction and
supervision.
Believe me,
Your future daughters-in-law will thank you for
well-trained husbands. Your future
sons-in-law will praise you if your daughters
can cook well. Really… these may seem like
old – fashioned traits or qualities… but as we
read in Proverbs 31, we see that the virtuous
woman knew the value of food for her household.
Ask any man, and he’ll readily share that he’d
be pleased to have a wife who could cook
delicious meals.
I’d like to talk about another aspect of working
with you in the kitchen. Were you to ask
most any one of our children, what’s the most
important aspect of working in the kitchen---
Yes! they’d readily tell you: the clean up.
If your children see that
clean-up is as important as the food
preparation, they will learn early to make
things easier for themselves when preparing
meals or even simple snacks or desserts.
You see, it’s that way with many
things… ask a painter what’s one of the most
important aspects of painting and they’ll tell
you that the care and clean-up of their brushes
is paramount to their art… or a house painter,
his rollers and brushes. A beautician, her
rollers, combs and scissors. A surgeon, his
medical and surgical equipment and operating
room. A landscaper, his machinery, mowers,
brooms and yards. A mechanic: his tools, socket
sets, etc. Clean-up is a very high priority in
most any profession… ask a Waste Management
employee. I share these examples so that you’ll
have some ammunition in your belt for reasons
why cleanliness is so vital.
Well…. So, they need to have an
understanding of cleanliness and order… that’s
why I share that in order to have children
cooking with you in the kitchen, they’ve first
got to have some basics down. They need to be
able to grasp that the quality of the
ingredients and the careful preparation is
enhanced only by the presentation of the meal.
When they know that presentation is vital to the
enjoyment of the meal, they will work hard at
preparing the food properly and serving it with
careful attention to detail.
I know many women who’ve wanted
to have their children cook with them, or to
learn to prepare meals for the family, that they
jump right in to the actual preparation of a
full meal and expect the child to take on the
full responsibility of the sometimes monumental
task, only to experience the frustration that
their inexperience produces and the result is
exactly opposite of their original expectation.
So, how do you get children to
cook with you… spend time with you, etc., etc.?
I firmly believe that if you will make work a
normal part of every day and if you will
encourage and expect good work, you will receive
or reap the benefits of children who know how to
work and know how to enjoy working.
As in most every single aspect of
parenting… if you expect your children to be
going in a direction, you need to be going there
first. You cannot expect them to go where you
are not willing to go or to do what you’re not
willing to do. It’s as true with cooking as it
is with any other area of child-training.
If you’re not joyful about the
activities of your home, then they won’t be
either. You’ll actually be teaching them to
groan if you’re groaning. You’ll teach them to
murmur if you’re murmuring about work. They’ll
see that they don’t really need to attend to
things if you don’t. So let them see you work
and let them see you do it willingly.
And then… expect them to join
you… to work alongside you and eventually
they’ll work alone---doing work unsupervised as
you work unsupervised. Teach them the great
value of work. Teach them to do it because
it’s right to do.
Colossians 3.23 “And whatsoever
ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not
unto men;”
Your definition will likely be
different than another woman’s definition of
what work needs to be done and how.
But do work and do it well.
If you aim low, they’ll shoot low---but if you
aim high, they’ll shoot high. If you try to
make things nice for them, they’ll appreciate
things done nicely and want to maintain that
level of attention to detail.
If you’re careless, you’ll likely produce
careless children---conversely, if you’re
uptight and demanding, you’ll likely not help
them grow but rather, you’ll squash productivity
in your children. You’ll beat them down and
they’ll be withdrawn and will likely seek
affirmation elsewhere---and they’ll find it.
Children can learn to work and
they can accomplish far more than you might give
them credit. But they need to be trained… and
training takes time---lots of time and if you
want them to be with you in the kitchen, then,
at least initially, you need to be with them in
their chores, too.
Here’s an example. You can tell a
child to go clean her room and you can go back
there a dozen times and see very little
progress. Some children can spend an entire
day doing what appears to be
nothing-------------the job is hopeless, the
child is apathetic, and you’re frazzled by all
the attempts to coerse the child to work. But
if you, early on, will spend time *showing* how
to break a job down into parts, show how to
fold, show how to stack clothing, show how to
hang clothes, show how to order books and papers
and if you have set things in a way to be easy
to maintain and if you have spent time together
working on it, you will instill a strong work
ethic in your child… and it will be a foundation
for other work. I have seen this time and time
again with many different temperaments of
children.
You won’t get good results if you don’t expect
good results!
So, I’d suggest that before you
can expect children to cook with you in the
kitchen, they need to work with you on other
things. Now, it may seem like I’m getting
way off topic here, but stay with me and you’ll
see where I’m going with all this. As you know
from teaching children academics, you cannot
teach them math skills or expect them to do even
basic math lessons without first introducing the
basics. They cannot be expected to move into
reading chapter books unless they can read
simple words and beginning readers.
It’s this way in our lives, even
spiritually… we grow in grace. We go from
strength to strength. As we know the LORD, we
teach Him and Him crucified.
Psalms 78.4 We will not hide
them from their children, shewing to the
generation to come the praises of the LORD,
and his strength, and his wonderful works
that he hath done.
Okay… so we work together
building on the foundation we’ve begun laying.
2Peter 1.5-8
5 And beside this, giving all diligence, add to
your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge;
6 And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance
patience; and to patience godliness;
7 And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to
brotherly kindness charity.
8 For if these things be in you, and abound,
they make you that ye shall neither be barren
nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord
Jesus Christ.
You’re already working on basic
academic skills… and so, as the Word says…
I’d pick a couple of areas and
I’d work to get good results. And when I saw
that I was getting good results in an area, I’d
add some other responsibilities. All the while,
I’d be adding a specific kitchen job here and
another kitchen job there. And all the while,
I’d be complimenting them on a neat job, a
careful job, a clever job; I’d be telling them I
proud of the way they do things or that I sure
like the idea they had or whatever.
I’d suggest that you have them on
a chair at the sink washing dishes with you from
an early age so that they are very accustomed to
handling the dishes. Do the glasses and sharp
items and then allow them to do the bowls and
plates. Spend the time teaching how this is
done. Be patient with them… it really will
build patience in you. Do not become
exasperated with your child… he’s learning and
will soon be proficient at the little and can
handle more.
Your child will then be very
comfortable with the dishes and then they can
move on to another level of responsibility in
the kitchen. Truly---contrary to what you think
now… it is NOT easier to do it
yourself. Yes, today it would get done better
and it SEEMS that it would be easier if you do
it, but tomorrow your child will be where they
are today… and your kitchen will be clean and
your meal will be lovely, and they will have
done nothing to get it that way and will have
not contributed to something in your life and
you will not have invested in theirs.
So, in the long run, it is not
easier to do it yourself.
From the time our oldest children
were very young, I would have them helping me in
the kitchen. I worked with them and I set
things up so that they could accomplish basic
tasks. This is very important when it comes to
actually cooking recipes, baking cakes or
cookies or preparing a whole meal.
For example: I have all the
dishes in a place that even very young children
can access. They can get the bowls or plates at
breakfast, they can set the table at meal time,
they can unload the dishwasher----all the while,
learning to care for things in the kitchen, keep
things orderly (again, your level of order
and/or cleanliness will likely differ from
someone else’s). If you expect them to take
care of things, they will and if they’re
accustomed to handling breakable things from a
young age, they will likely appreciate and care
for other things in the same manner. If they’re
expected to keep things in a certain place,
they’ll likely do that in other areas. Because
you are expecting them to be responsible with
things, they likely will be. Expect though,
that things will get broken… and when they do,
help clean up the mess and move on. Depending
on the number of children you have, you’ll
likely go through lots of dishes through the
years. You’ll be saying a lot to them by the
way you handle accidents and messes. I’m
talking legitimate accidents---not carelessness
or foolishness. Those things need to be
addressed in a different manner---and sometimes
correction and discipline are in order for those
sorts of calamities.
I would think to allow an
undisciplined child to work in the kitchen is
asking for trouble---and the trouble is not just
for the waste or the damage that could result,
but, also, for the child’s personal safety.
When you know your child is
conscious of potential dangers in the kitchen,
you’ll be able to teach him to mix and bake
foods without worrying about those things. If
you have a child who is careless, that tendency
will carry over into the kitchen and I’d say
you’d be wise to just keep working on those
problems---turning the weaknesses into
strengths.
But, just like I shared about not
succumbing to the temptation to do it all
yourself, don’t be tempted to just ignore the
problems and hope they go away----they won’t go
away. They will be the fodder for other
problems, other areas of weakness to grow.
Undisciplined children or unruly
children can be trained and they can become
delightful to be around and a pleasure to work
with---it’s just something we, as mothers, need
to set our minds to doing… working daily with
those children. I assure you, there is a grief
that is very hard to bear and it’s an
undisciplined child.
Proverbs 10.1 “… A wise son
maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the
heaviness of his mother.”
Proverbs 29.15 “The rod and
reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself
bringeth his mother to shame.”
So… the children, being trained
in other areas can begin to have some personal
responsibilities in the kitchen.
So what about actually getting
children involved in the cooking?
Probably many would say to start
with things they like. Typically, this would
seem to be something like cookies or boxed
brownies. But, I’d like to suggest that you
begin with simple processes like stirring…
stirring the pudding or jello, stirring the
oatmeal or pouring the milk into the pancake
batter.
Depending on the age of the
child, the experience they have and the
willingness they’ve demonstrated, I’d suggest
that you give them responsibility to prepare the
dinner salad…. Or have them help by chopping the
vegetables for soup.
They can prepare a dessert or
make smoothies or whatever is a commonly
prepared food at your home. If they’ve seen you
prepare it many times, it will come very easy to
them.
Your whole goal is to prepare
them for their life in the future, to prepare
them to serve others and to teach them the
disciplines of preparing nutritious foods. If
you will teach them this, you will equip them
well for their future home. They’ll not depend
on fast food restaurants, prepared meals or
boxed dinners.
If they know how to prepare a
snack for guests, or a quick lunch for the
family, or a fancy dinner for a special
occasion, they’ll gain confidence to do other
things in life as well… it’s no secret that
success breeds success.
They’ll appreciate well planned
and well prepared foods and want to make them
themselves---especially if they’ve eaten a meal
at a nice restaurant and have tasted properly
fixed meats, salads, desserts, vegetables or
breads. If they know how things are to be
prepared, and have seen how they’re presented,
they’ll have an appreciation for attention to
detail. They’ll be given to hospitality.
Having said all that… I’d hasten
to say… let them fail. Let them try new things
and let them fail. They’ll get it… it make take
a few times, but they’ll get it.
They may need a gentle reminder
to read carefully. Read the instructions. If
they trust you in their schoolwork, they’ll
trust you in the kitchen---by this, I mean: When
they fail at their math lesson, it’s generally
because they’ve not read the directions---plain
and simple. So… you gently correct and train.
Correct and teach. Same thing in the kitchen.
When they fail at preparing a recipe, it’s
generally because they’ve not read the
directions carefully---plain and simple---they
got in a hurry and didn’t pay attention.
Another reason is that they’ve missed some basic
skills………… simply enough, you can correct this,
too. Generally, it’s a math skill or a reading
skill.
Be willing to take the time to
teach-----------teach, don’t tease. Show
love... That’s what we all need to do ---
Show love. Let them fail… and let them try to
remedy the situation and stand back to allow it.
Sometimes you’ll need to step in and let them
know it’s okay to stop---that they need to begin
again. If they make a mistake, and they
seem receptive, help them through it... show
them where their trouble spot was.
Lovingly show them how to do it or how to
correct it. If they've made a mistake,
don't mock them... don't make fun of them.
Don't succumb to the stupid and arrogant
behaviour common today. Don't call the
bread a brick... don't call the cookies hockey
pucks, don't call the pudding sludge or any
other mean-spirited thing.
I've told our children many times
stories of my dad and a company he once owned
that made soups and sauces and dressings for
restaurants and how there were many times when
someone failed to follow a recipe correctly and
they’d have to pull the plug on 50 gallons of
soup……….
Let them fail… and be there to
remind them that everyone makes mistakes… it’s
all going to work out. That will carry you a
very very long way… because that principle will
spill over into every area of their life. They
need to be able to fail and keep going. They
need to know that you will be there… and it’s
all okay.
So…………..
Set up your kitchen to
accommodate cooking. A kitchen isn’t for show.
A home is not for show. Showpieces are for
magazines. Children don’t live in magazines,
they live in homes… they don’t grow in
magazines, they grow in homes. They grow where
they’re nurtured and then they nurture where
they grow. Very simple. But very hard for
many moms and dads… hard to set things up for
children to learn… for children to practice.
Don’t fret over messes---it’s not
worth it! There will be another one
tomorrow and another one every day for ever… as
long as there are children in the home.
So then… more ideas for you.
Set your kitchen up into baking
centers or sandwich preparation area or dinner
foods preparation area or whatever. Set up your
cooking and baking and measuring utensils into
easily accessed areas----this will make the
activity run more smoothly and they’ll want to
spend time where the equipment is ready for
them.
Set your kitchen up with basic
supplies… it’s amazing how creative children
will be and become when they know they are
welcome to cook and welcome to explore in the
kitchen. Just give your stuff to Jesus… let
Him take care of it for you… then whatever
happens, you’ll just rest knowing that you’re
doing what’s best for the children and for their
future homes and families.
We have, in our kitchen, most all
the time baking supplies for just about any
recipe they decide to make. We have branched
out with different unusual ingredients.
I have attempted to let them make
anything they want to make. I try not to
squelch creativity. But one thing I’ve not
allowed is playing in the food… Until they’re
really good with recipes, I’ve not allowed them
to just throw things in a bowl and see what
happens… I think that fosters foolishness and
teaches irresponsibility. I don’t let them do
that with other things, so, I don’t let them do
that with food.
That’s what I mean about laying a
good foundation and teaching children to be
responsible.
I then work to show them how to
present or serve the foods they’ve prepared.
This is generally done over and over… always
allowing them input and creativity. They’ve
learned to be hospitable as they’ve learned to
prepared things according to a family member’s
or guest’s preference.
As they learn to serve, they’ll
greatly desire to serve more because they’ll get
a grasp of what the LORD meant when He said “But
he that is greatest among you shall be your
servant.” Matthew 23.11
As your daughters become
accustomed to preparing and serving, the
tendency to have a Martha mind/heart will be
replace with a Mary mind/heart and the serving
will not be cumbersome to them.
You see, have children cook with
you in the kitchen
It’s not just a fun way to spend
time together, though it is…
It’s not just a great way to build the skill of
following directions, though it is…
It’s not just a great way to reinforce math and
reading skills, though it is…
It’s not just a great way to build hospitality
skills, though it is…
It teaches the necessity of
ministering to the needs of others.
We have to keep our eye on the
goal… the goal is the kingdom of God and His
righteousness.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed and
like you’ll never be able to do all these things
or that this job is too difficult… may I ask you
to join me in trusting the LORD...
But
seek ye first the kingdom of God, and
his righteousness;
and all these things shall be added unto
you.
Matthew 6:33
